What is Black and White Thinking & How To Minimize It

“Don't define your world in black-and-white because there is so much hiding amongst the grays.” -Unknown. 

It's black, it's white. Yes or no… I am a good person or a bad person. I can trust this person fully or I can't trust them at all. Do any of those thoughts sound like you? If so, let's talk about black-and-white thinking. Black-and-white thinking, which is also known as “all or none-thinking” refers to a cognitive pattern where people perceive situations, people, or events in absolute terms. Black-and-white thinking can also be referred to as extreme thinking towards or against one side versus the other. Black-and-white thinking is common but can be harmful and detrimental to one's emotional health and relationships. Black-and-white thinking can lead to unrealistic expectations, causing frustration and angry outbursts, and also causing the inability to see the in-between areas or “gray parts” of life that exist. 

Breaking out of black-and-white thinking can be difficult, but is possible. The process of getting out of black-and-white thinking can take time, awareness, and effort, but with the right strategies and resources, one can cultivate a more balanced thinking pattern that can lead to a more fulfilling emotional well-being and healthier relationships. In this blog, we will be focusing on how to overcome black-and-white thinking and be able to see the ranges of colors between black and white. Below, we will be helping you with tips for getting out of black-and-white thinking.

Tips for Minimizing Black and White Thinking

1. Notice your Thoughts: The first step towards stopping your black-and-white thinking is being aware of your thoughts. Recognizing when you are thinking in all non-terms will assist you with being able to combat them. Becoming aware of the extremes in thinking will help assist you with catching yourself before engaging in this pattern of thinking.

 Examples of black-and-white thinking: “If I don't get this right, I’m a failure.” “They are always wrong.” “If it's not perfect, why do it at all.” “I can fully trust this person, or I can't trust them at all.” “Nothing good ever happens to me.” 

2. Pause and Reflect: Catch yourself when you find yourself using words or phrases such as “always,” “never,” and “completely” to assist with using absolutes that aren't useful for thinking rationally. 

3. Challenge the Extremes: Examine the evidence for and against your thought and replace it with a more balanced thought. ex) Original thought: “All people cannot be trusted.” Alternate thought: “Some people cannot be trusted.” 

4. Self-Compassion: Black-and-white thinking often leads to being self-critical and feelings of inadequacy or like an imposter. If you're not "perfect," you may feel like you're a failure. Judging yourself can be damaging to your mental and physical health and can impact healing and progress. Self-compassion requires treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer friends, family, and other loved ones. It is important to recognize that everyone, including yourself, makes mistakes. When you catch yourself being self-critical or engaging in absolute thinking about yourself, pause and ask: "Would I speak to a loved one in this way?" or "What would I say to someone I care about in this situation that I can also say to myself?"

5. Mindfulness: Mindfulness can be a powerful tool in combating black-and-white thinking. When you're mindful, you focus on the present moment without judgment. This allows you to observe your thoughts without being overwhelmed by them or caught up in their extremes or absolutes. For mindfulness: First notice your thoughts, don't judge your thoughts, let them pass on, and ground yourself by focusing on the present moment. 

6. Seek Support: Therapy can be a fantastic manner of assisting with getting out of absolute/black-and-white thinking. Seeking assistance through counseling can help with retraining your mind. 

All in all, black-and-white thinking is a cognitive distortion that can limit emotional growth/well-being, strain relationships, and may prevent you from fully managing the complexities of life. Recognizing the patterns of all-or-nothing thinking, challenging absolute thoughts, practicing self-compassion, and practicing mindfulness, can help begin to cultivate a more balanced outlook on life. Overcoming black-and-white thinking is not an overnight process, but with time and practice, you can learn to see the many shades of gray in life. In doing so, you’ll find greater emotional resilience, healthier relationships, and a deeper sense of well-being. For more resources like this, please check out our other tips here https://www.plantationcounseling.com/blog. You can always find us at 954-903-1676 for counseling services.