So it’s a new year, but before you whip out a note of your resolutions -that we all try to keep but give up after MLK holiday- let’s take a moment to make changes that we can realistically keep.
One of the things I LOVE to achieve with my clients is transformations that don’t require a complete overhaul of who they are. You are fabulous! There is no need to change that... but there are some minor adjustments that can take us from fabulous to Beyoncé level.
1. Take a HARD look at your inner circle - Friends are great. They offer support, comedy relief, and just overall fun. But we have to admit that we may have one friend who is holding on by a thread. Why do we keep this person around? Is he/she really what we need? Are we giving more than we are getting?If you answered “I don’t know” to most of these questions, then it may be time to let them go. I get it... it can be hard, but this year is about YOU. You have to start living your life on your terms and not dependent on other people’s feelings.
2. Create a Self-Care Schedule - so what is “Self-Care?” It’s not some fancy therapist term, it’s something we all need to live by. We need to start taking a break from everything around us and find time to do something YOU enjoy doing. It could be as simple as a lunch at Chipotle with a group of friends or a mani/pedi to spruce up your look.Whatever it is, put it in your schedule IN ADVANCE!! It should be happening at least once a month. Unless it’s a shopping spree at Tiffany’s, you may want to spread it out depending on your personal budget or at least invite me to tag along. ??
3. Create a Bullet Journal - You can make it as elaborate or as simple as you want! I recommend bullet journaling to all my individual clients to help them keep track of their tasks, goals, self-care days, and whatever else they want.One step to being Beyoncé level is to be organized. How do you think she keeps track of everything she has going on? Well granted, she probably has a massive staff, but I imagine they are very organized.
4. Take a look at yourself -and I don’t mean in the mirror - Are you hiding the truth from yourself? Do you go on day-to-day hoping things will magically “fix” themselves instead of facing the facts? Pain hurts and we lie to ourselves by saying that if we ignore it, it will just go away. REALITY CHECK: It doesn’t! The more we try to cover our wounds the more they consume/infect our lives in different ways. It’s time to sit down and try to heal ourselves.
There are simple things you can do to help:
- Journaling is a good way to let it out. You can write whatever you want, let it all out. It’s better to release the emotions than to bottle them in.
- Seeking help. A few visits with a professional can give you the space and feedback you need to get on a better path. Don’t worry you won’t need to be in long-term sessions... Sometimes 4-6 sessions could be all you need.
- Find the things you love about yourself. Create a list of the qualities you love the most about yourself. You can take a simple dry-erase marker or post-its and place those on your mirror as a constant reminder that you are fabulous and can get through it!It’s time to let go of the old you and step into your fabulous new year self! This is your time to start thinking about what you want out of life and not to let things -and maybe even yourself- get in the way of that. You can do it!
Written by: Jessica Jefferson, Registered Marriage and Family Therapist and Owner of Cloud Nine Therapeutic Services. I help those who are looking for a boost in their self-confidence and self-esteem to help them become the best versions of themselves. Are you ready to start making changes in your life? Want to feel confident and ready to face any obstacle? Call me today.